Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Send Laurie Anne all your porn spam

I've been tagged by that troublemaker Laurie Anne over at All Over the Bored to do one of these thing-a-ma-jigs. WTF. I was minding my own business and then BAM .... Anyway, here are the rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Here goes:
1. I never said I was sorry: to the people on the balcony beneath ours in college when the wind blew my piss back onto them. We were having a party, the line was long and it was my balcony. I just forgot there were people beneath me. So I say it now. I'm sorry.

2. I quit college for a while: I dropped out the first semester and took some time off before returning. You've heard of the five-year plan. Well, I was basically on an eight-year plan. I graduated high school in 1984 and college in 1992. I hated it when I first got there. I despised living in a dorm with a roommate I didn't know and a bunch of people I didn't want to share a bathroom with.

3. I know how to dry clean clothes: On my time off from college, I worked at a dry cleaner. The owner taught me how to get spots out of clothes -- including stains on dresses -- as well as how to press suits and how good a cold beer feels after a few hours around steam. He was Korean and every afternoon he'd give me 10 bucks to go buy a case of Busch for us. After a couple of beers, I could barely understand him. But he was funny as hell. And a nice guy.

4. Ocean swimming: I like it, but I always feel like there's a shark about to bite me. That's why it's easier to do if I've had a couple of drinks. Enough to give some liquid courage but not enough to drown me.

5. Tanqueray gin and Slim Jims: I once threw up a mixture of the two all over a hotel room in Ocean City, Md., during a journalism conference. Nastiest mess I ever saw and smelled. The worst part ... I was sharing the room ... I really am sorry Mike. Really. I am.

6. Genitalia: I'm immature as hell when it comes to genitalia references. I still crack up when someone says Fort Dix. The worst part is my job. The copy desk at many newspapers is divided between the rim and the slot. Imagine my constant inner giggling... What did you do with your story? I moved it through the rim and put it in slot.

7. I like chick flicks: and have seen Notting Hill at least a dozen times. Whoopsy Daisy.

8. Tattoos and piercings: One tattoo and my left ear is pierced twice. It was pierced three times but I put one in crooked and eventually took it out. That's right, I did them myself. I was too scared to let anyone else do it. As for piercing anything else -- I almost had one of my nipples pierced by accident when my best friend and I were fighting. We were about 8 or so and wrestling. I had him pinned down into the pine needles and he bit me to get me off of him. I thought he bit my nipple off but it was just below it.

These are the people I am tagging:
1. Mara at Whole Lots o' Nothin'. Will tequila be mentioned at all?
2. Victoria at Our Life in Idaho. I know these will be interesting facts.
3. Kathleen at Kathleen's Wacky Life. Did she ever have to show her breasts after a hare run?
4. Zoe at Royal Mom. I won't even venture a guess at what her eight interesting facts may be.
5. Traci Lyn at Jecilyn and Treavor's Mom. How many times has she shown her hoo-hahs to those who asked?
6. Lacey at Prattlings about Law School. Has she ever let her dog poop on a sidewalk and left it there?
7. Esteban at Parra Grafs. Who in the hell knows what he may come up with.
and finally
8. Natalie at Bow Wow Meow. Ex-con Martha Stewart is still one of her idols.

Now here's the perfect song after all that:

4 comments:

Laurie Anne said...

Jeffrey, several things I need to express.
1. I am so NOT a trouble-maker! I thought you knew me better than that (hee-hee)
2. See, now everyone knows all this other cool (and sick) stuff about you. I thought you were such a nice guy...little did I know.
3. You are damned funny.
4.A TATTOO!?!?!!?!? And piercings?!?!? I'm flabbergasted.
5. I gladly await all the porn spam heading my way.
6. I am sorry. But you are a good sport and I feel so much closer to you now!

Mara said...

Ooh, I can't wait to see Natalie's post!!!!

JJ said...

Copy editor (rim) to city editor: "This is way too long."

City editor: "Give it to me and I'll whack it."

They're talking about a story, but this stuff is said!!!

Natalie said...

Mine will definitely not be as interesting as Jeffrey's. I made my list..and there are things that I don't even think I will mention. I'll post in a day or so. Sick with respiratory infection right now.